The Next Generation
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"The Next Generation"

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Remembering the Titanic after 100 Years

"Robert Collier with Colleagues at the Opening of The New York Advertising Club" in the early 1900's

After Nine Decades Collier Family
Still Publishing

In the beginning there were three:
Peter Fenelon Collier, Robert J. Collier and
Robert Collier

Peter Fenelon Collier Robert J Collier

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Joyce Philbin-Collier, Life Expert and owner of Robert Collier Publications, is here with some reassuring and empowering answers to this monthís question.


     I would rather not leave my name because of the nature of my question. I am graduating High School in June and was hoping you could help me   How do I handle situations that will come up where there will be drinking, drugs, and pressure to engage in inappropriate behavior. With the Prom coming up and all the before and after parties, I will be pressured to do things I know Iím not supposed to do. There seems to be talk of more reckless behavior planned and it is becoming increasingly more difficult to say ďnoĒ. Do you have any tips on how to handle this?  Long Island, NY

    ANSWER:   Usually, when groups of teens are engaging in behavior they know they are not supposed to, a couple of things are going on. Many times, the story goes, that this kid wanted to be cool or popular, so they have a party which includes alcohol, drugs and private rooms which allow for sexual activity.  Clueless parents think its okay because they did it when they were kids. The fact is the world has become much more dangerous with the kind of drugs out there and the STDís which affect thousands each year. The second thing is, that the need to be cool only works as long as other kids go along with it. That is at the core of the pressure. If you donít go along, you are taking away from their needing to be cool.  As a graduating senior, chances are you wonít see these classmates past the end of June.  If you remember this fact, decisions become easier.

     When I worked with difficult passengers on a flight back in the days when I was a flight attendant, it was a lot easier to deal with them knowing I would not see them again past the four hour flight. The same principle applies when you are at a party and someone asks you if you want a beer, or joint, or worse. By going along, you give up your power and give it over to the person pressuring you. Before you attend any social event where you have to navigate around bad behavior, practice every scenario that you may face. Repeat after each scene, ďNo, thank youĒ. Thatís it. You donít owe anyone an explanation as to why. If you feel you have to say why, tell them, I just donít feel like it.

     Consider the consequences: If you drink alcohol, and you drink too much, you can wind up in an emergency room. This time of year, thousands of underage teens who drink wind up in emergency rooms. Many die. This is a reality. If you drink and drive, your passengers and the occupants of the car you hit could wind up in the emergency room, permanently injured or dead. That is the reality. If you do drugs, chances are you donít know what is in the drugs you are smoking, snorting or ingesting, and further, it is quite possible that, even if it is the first time, you can become irrevocably addicted or die. Addiction will ruin your life forever. Unsafe sex can lead to infection, pregnancy and sterility. You may not think sterility is a big deal, but it means you will never be able to have children and it may drastically alter your future relationships. Life as you know it now, will never be the same if you abuse or engage in any of the above activities.

     You want to stay on your successful path. The more you say ďnoĒ to things that are bad for you, the easier it becomes to say ďnoĒ to things in the future that are bad for you. The moment you give in to someone elseís expectation, you begin to stray from the successful path meant for you. Hang out with like-minded people even if they appear to be the minority. Good people generally donít form gangs because they donít need others to validate their behavior. They simply follow the path they have carved out for themselves and move in the direction of their goals. Itís really that simple.

     You cannot be responsible for others behavior. You can only be responsible for yours. Donít hand the power of you over to anyone. Your power is a lot more difficult to take back once you give it away. You need to listen to your inner voice. It will be your best guide. Most people who ignore that nagging feeling often are the ones who hand their power over to someone else and ultimately lose their way.

     Be a leader. Be a person of patience and Faith. Believe in you and what you know to be right. By opting for doing the right thing, you gain power. Once you give in to pressure, you have demonstrated weakness.  Never worry about how others define you. They are on a journey trying to discover who they want to be. You will already be well on your way.  You have a head start because you already know you want to stay on the right path.  There is great satisfaction for being who you are rather than what someone else wants you to be.

     Finally, be aware of your surroundings. If things start to spiral out of control (alcohol and drugs can do that), or you find yourself about to get into a car with someone under the influence, donít get in the car and get out of the situation. Your parents or caretakers may be annoyed to have to get you in the middle of the night, but they will be very happy to have the opportunity to yell at you rather than having to identify you at the morgue where there will be no words necessary, just sorrow.  The same goes for getting in a car with someone who canít put their phone down. Donít get in the car. Being distracted for even a couple of seconds can cause a fatal crash.

     There is plenty of opportunity to have fun. Knowing what and who will be at a party will help you decide whether to put yourself in that situation or not. Itís best not to go at all than to be in a situation where you will be compromised. There will be many parties and you donít have to attend all of them. Years from now, nobody will even remember where the parties were, no less who was there.

     Enjoy your success as you graduate and move on to the next phase of your life holding on to the power within you that has guided you thus far. These upcoming few weeks will be a mere blip on the radar of your life. Stay the course, and you will be well on your way to attracting all your dreams.  Your question already demonstrates your wisdom and your commitment to making the right choices. Good Luck!


"Your chances of success in any undertaking can always be measured by your belief in yourself."
...Robert Collier


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